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The Waiting is the Hardest Part

2/22/2010

 
Some children are born with the ability to wait patiently. Others (me included) aren't as lucky. The good news is that researchers say that waiting is a skill that can be taught. The further good news is that teaching the skill of waiting is one that has far-reaching positive effects. For more details about the Stanford study that began in the 1960s, take a look at Don't: The Secret of Self-Control by Jonah Lehrer (New Yorker, 5/09).


In short, according to Eat Me, Daily: the ones who passed the marshmallow test enjoyed greater success as adults. Said Walter Mischel, the Stanford professor of psychology in charge of the experiment, "What we’re really measuring with the marshmallows isn’t will power or self-control... It’s much more important than that. This task forces kids to find a way to make the situation work for them. They want the second marshmallow, but how can they get it? We can’t control the world, but we can control how we think about it.”

Helping to put things into perspective (how we think about the world) and accepting the brain's and levels of control we are born with is the kind of work I find myself doing the most. Learning about the marshmallow experiment got me thinking a lot about my clients, their struggles, and the kinds of things we work on together. The waiting isn't easy. Many things aren't, but they can be learned. To that end, I present to you some Tom Petty to get you going.

Tom Petty & The Heartbreakers - The Waiting
Found at skreemr.com

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    Abra Carroll Nardo, Ph.D.

    I am a Licensed Psychologist with a private practice in downtown Raleigh, NC. I offer evaluation, therapy, and coaching for children, adolescents, and adults. I have particular expertise in AD/HD.

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